Leaning into God's Spirit

As a spiritual director, pastor, and mom, sitting just to relax is rare. But when that magic moment happens, and I can finally sit in my armchair and lean back, I experience a kind of release, an "ahh" moment. My body loses tension, and I feel that I can breathe deeply. Sometimes that lasts for two seconds before life calls me back to my feet, or sometimes it lasts for longer.

One spiritual practice I've learned as a spiritual director is leaning back into God's Spirit. It has the same sensation as relaxing in an armchair--the sense of being held, of not having everything rest on my shoulders. When I start a spiritual direction session, I lean back into God, trusting that God's Spirit will guide the session. I breathe deeply and imagine myself leaning back into God's arms.

And God's Spirit reveals God's presence in unexpected ways in the session. Sometimes this happens in ways that challenge my rational understanding, such as when both me and another get the same image in our minds during a time of silence, or when a reading speaks specifically to what another is going through.

I often begin a worship service with this practice. As our worship director plays a prelude on the piano, I breathe deeply and lean back into God, trusting that God's Spirit will guide the service through me.

Of course, I have a role to play. In a direction session, I listen carefully and weigh the questions and impressions that arise in me to discern if they are from God. In a worship service, I prepare carefully for the sermon. The reason I lean back into God is not because I don't trust my thoughts or my preparation. It's because I know that I am working on God's behalf, which means God is working alongside me. It's not all on my shoulders.

One of my hopes as a spiritual director and pastor is to guide people to the same understanding: that God walks with them. Not everything is on their shoulders. It is possible to relax into God's Spirit and trust.

So the next time you sit back into a cozy chair, I invite you to remember that God holds you and invites you to this same rest.